Theme Songs & Escape Routes
by mahlia
Summary: Kid Flash has too much time on his hands during a mission while waiting for Robin to hack into a computer, and he starts asking some really annoying questions. Just a oneshot to try my hand at something different!


At 1,500 words, this is my second shortest piece. And strangely enough it was the most difficult one to write so far. I want to thank **Cloaks and Daggers **for giving me the quote from "The Cable Guy", which I used as the first line for this story. (I didn't use the normal idea/definition of danger music; I changed it to suit my needs for this.) Way to throw down, my writing sister, and I hope I answered appropriately!

I also want to thank **DreamRabbit** for agreeing to beta this for me. His amazing talent and nigh-on infinite patience with me and my writing really helped mold this into what it is, and without his feedback and encouragement this would have ended up in my recycle bin. So thank you for looking this over, making it better and putting up with my crazy rant about how terrible this was. ;)

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything and this is all in good fun. And it's rated K for everyone's reading pleasure.

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><p>"You know what the trouble about real life is? There's no danger music."<p>

Robin glanced up at Kid Flash, who was perched in the rafters above him keeping lookout. They had been sent to recover stolen information from one of the most secure software manufacturing facilities in the country. Batman thought the pair had been ready to take on a mission of their own. And considering the facility had only a skeleton crew on weekends, tonight had been the perfect opportunity.

"What are you talking about?" Robin asked, looking back to the computer he was currently trying to hack into. He frowned at the screen, stumped momentarily by the complicated operating system. His gaze flickered between the holographic screen above his glove and the computer monitor in front of him.

Wally watched him and didn't bother to try and hide the fact he was _beyond_ bored. "You know, in horror and action movies? Right before something happens the music starts. It's kinda like a warning."

"Oh-kay. So why are you thinking about this now?"

"It's not like I have anything else to do. I don't hack computers. I would normally be the look-out, but there's _no one here_. This place is totally deserted."

"You should check our exit route, make sure we're still alone."

"You're trying to get rid of me, aren't you?"

"No."

"Yeah, you are."

"No, I'm not. Just go check the hallways again, to make sure our exit is clear. I don't want any problems when we leave."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

He could see Robin's jaw clench as he continued working. "You really put the 'kid' in Kid Flash, don't you?" he muttered.

"What?"

"I said, make yourself useful and go check to make sure the guards are still out cold."

Kid Flash sighed petulantly. "Even if they were awake, which they won't be for at least another forty-five minutes, they wouldn't be able to do anything. I took their radios and disabled the door locks. They're stuck."

"Okay. Then go make sure there aren't any other guards lurking around. We can't be too careful, you know. Are you sure we took out all of them?"

Kid Flash froze, staring at Robin. His eyes narrowed slightly. "Okay, I know you aren't doubting my ability to secure a building. You really are trying to get rid of me. Just admit it."

"Fine, I might be," Robin said, sighing loudly. "I can't focus with you talking constantly. This one is harder to get into than most of the systems I've seen." He scratched the side of his head and continued staring at the screen. "Isn't there anything else you could be doing?"

Kid Flash paused for a minute and Robin went back to work, trying to access the data they had been sent to retrieve. Kid Flash climbed down from his lookout and went out to the darkened hallway, peeking around the corner.

"Oh, there's a surprise. No one's here," he muttered, his green eyes rolling upward. He zipped down the hallway to the vending machine, but didn't see anything to his liking. He turned and trudged back to the room housing the mainframe. Robin was still typing away, a determined frown on his face.

Seconds later the silence was broken again. "If we had theme music, what do you think it would be?"

"KF, seriously? If you want to get out of here anytime soon, you'll shut up."

"Did you just tell me to.."

"Yes, I did."

"Haven't you ever considered.."

"No."

"Not even for a minute?"

"Nope."

"But wouldn't it be cool if.."

"What's the opposite of up?"

Kid Flash paused, startled by Robin's sudden interest in the conversation. "Down?"

"And the opposite of positive?"

"Negative."

"So the opposite of yes is?"

"No."

"Precisely."

Kid Flash groaned upon realizing he'd been tricked.

"Rob, come _on_. All superheroes need theme music."

Robin glanced up from the computer momentarily. "I thought we were talking about danger music."

"We were, but I'm more curious about theme songs, I guess. If you had to pick a theme song, what would it be?"

It was Robin's turn to roll his eyes. "I've never thought about a theme song. I'll admit I notice the music in the movies when the action or danger happen, but that's it."

Kid Flash didn't buy it and pressed on. "So I'm supposed to believe you've never thought about what theme song you would want? Your mp3 collection is massive, man. You have to have some good choices in there. What about _Wasting Time_ by Kid Rock?" He laughed at his own joke, not noticing the dark scowl directed at him.

Robin sighed in irritation and threw up his hands in defeat, leaning back in his chair. "Honestly, KF. Can you possibly have picked a worse time to ask me that? I've never thought about a theme song. I couldn't care less about "danger music" and all I want to do is recover the stolen data and get out of here. It's a Saturday night, you know." He huffed another sigh and glared at Kid Flash, who held his hands up in surrender. "Thank you," Robin said, sitting back down in front of the computer terminal.

He grit his teeth when Kid Flash cleared his throat loudly a minute later. "Well? Do you have a theme song or not?"

Robin scrubbed a hand over his face in exasperation, his shoulders slumping. "Okay, I give up. I admit it. I have one. It's by the Black Eyed Peas."

Kid Flash smiled widely. "I _knew_ you had a song picked out! Which one is it?"

Robin looked up for a moment, working to hide the smirk that threatened to make an appearance. "It's their song _Shut Up_." He went back to typing, not missing the reaction on Kid Flash's face.

_"That's_ the song you picked? Come on, that is so.." He paused when Robin just smirked at his delayed reaction. "Oh. I see. You think you're so funny." He paced near the door, clearly agitated. "Have you ever considered how boring this is, waiting for you to finish whatever it is you're doing? Since I do my thing first, taking out the guards? I get stuck waiting for you! Can't you work any faster?" Kid Flash exclaimed, the volume of his voice rising considerably.

"Would you be _quiet_? This is supposed to be covert!" Robin unplugged the USB cable from the computer terminal and tucked it back into his glove, apparently finished with whatever he was doing.

"Oh, please, like there's anyone even here. I checked al..." Kid Flash froze as the building's alarm system began to sound. "...ready."

"Yeah, bang up job on _that_ one, second-fastest man alive. Forty-five minutes? Try _fifteen_. You've _got _to be kidding me." Robin looked out the window of the mainframe room, noticing security guards rushing to meet them. "Any bright ideas, since you got us into this mess?"

"See, here is where the danger music would have come in really handy."

"Really mature, KF, really."

"Says the thirteen year-old."

"Coming from someone with the word 'kid' in his name? I'll take that as a compliment."

They both darted for the exit, sprinting down the hallway toward the back door. Robin tossed a couple of smoke pellets behind them, ensuring their safe exit from the building. As they turned the last corner, the unmistakable opening bars to the James Bond theme song began to echo from the building's public address system. Robin kept running, but Kid Flash stopped a moment, smiling widely and shaking his head.

"See, I _knew_ you had a song picked out!" He laughed and looked behind them, noticing they were in no danger of being caught. "How did you do that? That was awesome!"

Robin finally gave into his impulse to laugh. "I hacked the intercom system."

"Well done, dude. Well. Done."

"Yeah, I know."

"But do you really keep music in that glove-computer-thing of yours? If so, can I get one?"

"I won't confirm or deny that I may or may not keep music in here. And no, you can't have one."

"Please?"

"No. Now let's get out of here."

"Fine. But you're way too short to be a good James Bond."

"Whatever, KF. It's not about height. It's about attitude."

"Well, you've got plenty of _that_, then."


End file.
